alway ready to listen

Prayer comes easy for me.  Not because I necessarily like talking but because I long to be listened to and understood.  To me praying is like having a conversation with your most trusted friend, it's like seeking counsel from a parent you know will always have the right advise. It's like being mentored through conversation.  It occurred to me just this morning that when I pray, I  feel that God has all the time in the world to listen to me.  I never feel that he has had enough of my serious talk or he is impatient because I'm dialoging about the same things over and over and over again!!  I tend to like deep conversations and am fairly serious.  There are few people in my life that are energized as I am by these conversations.  Few that understand my need to seek right living,  Pursuing a God honoring life is serious business for me, something I don't take lightly.   I realized today that often I feel alone in my journey except when I pray.  In those moments I feel completely understood and valued.   I recognize that prayer is not about me feeling good about me. However it seems to be a byproduct of connecting with God.  As I enter into conversation with God and in the context of feeling absolutely loved, I begin to change.  Change that is not always easy but change that is always good.  It's a mystery and I'm really unable to explain this relational dynamic through words.  I can say though that prayer is a life giving gift.  One that keeps on giving!!

too cautious

For the last while  I've been trying to be more aware of God at work in my life.  Too often, I rush through my day with my own agenda only to miss the awareness of God's presence and activity in my life.  As I've been learning to listen more intently and watch more carefully I've realized how active God is in the little moments of my day.   This inspires such HOPE.  It reminds me how real the unseen is and how rich and full life can be.  More importantly it sets my focus on things that matter.  Less about me and more about others and God's purposes.

Recently my husband and I were going out for a rare supper in a restaurant.  On our way, an elderly man on a bike approached us.  His appearence was a bit disheveled.  He pleasantly asked if we would buy him a cup of coffee.  There was a McD's close by and we told him we could go there and we would purchase him some coffee.  I expected to get a bit of push back as typically when we have been approached for something in the past, the person usually wants the money, not the product. Cliff, as we learned his name to be, hearing that we would take him to McD's said he would rather have a small hamburger instead as it costs the same.  He seemed very polite and was cautious not to impose on us.  We bought him a hamburger and a tea (his choice).  He was thankful.  We finished our introductions, shook hands and we left him at McD's and we went to the other end of the parking lot to Earls.  
Later, as I reflected on that experience, I wondered..."what was I thinking"...why McD's for him and Earls for us?  Food is good, but maybe food and relationship would be better.
I'm thinking Jesus would have preferred if we had invited him to Earls.  Yes, it would have been out of my comfort zone...but isn't that often how God works, asking us to live beyond ourselves?

I'll try to remember this next time.  Baby steps!!